Thursday, February 08, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Where's Waldo?
Thank goodness for weekends. I am feeling better about the whole situation at work. I realized that worrying about stuff doesn't change anything (duh, Sarah) and I feel God has given me some calm in the midst of this weird time. I rested a lot this weekend and I think it was just what I needed: physically, emotionally, mentally, you name it. I was able to just be. If I found myself thinking about work or my students, I had to quickly think of something else. Do any of you struggle with this? It is definitely a discipline.
On a kind of fun note, last night I was in one of my roomate's rooms and she has a stack of Where's Waldo books. Oh, the nostalgia! I remember being SO into those when I was in junior high. So I grabbed a few and went for it. Ok, when did all these new characters appear?! There's Wenda and Wilma - twin sisters who show up in different books and Waldo apparently dates both of them (scandalous...), his dog Woof with the striped tail, Wizard Whitebeard with his red/white/blue striped staff, and Odlaw the villian who looks like Waldo except his stripes are yellow instead of red and he has a moustache...which of COURSE signifies he is the bad guy. Coincidentally, "Odlaw" is "Waldo" spelled backwards. Ooooo...these guys are clever!!
Man, those books are fun. Next time you go to your local library, hunt 'em down and have fun. There is subtle humor in the pictures which I didn't get as a kid but totally enjoyed as an adult. Things like mermaids in a river, smiling and waving at men on shore. The guys run over to the edge to make kissy-faces and their nearby girlfriends look annoyed at the mermaids with their hands on their hips. Or a bunch of dudes trying to trap a bear as it comes out of a cave. They are all pointing, laughing, and sticking their tongues out at it because it's about to be captured but then you see behind the guys are some bigger bears on their hind legs tapping them on the shoulders and looking pissed. Love it!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Help Wanted
I am feeling discouraged and alone this week. A lot of my students are dealing with hard stuff right now. It hurts to see them hurting. And I am losing some of my adult and student leaders at work. Anyone want to love on college students? Come along side them in life and encourage them? They're not scary or intimidating, I promise.
My heart feels heavy, so I'm gonna go pray.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Oh Target
Target can be a dangerous. And by dangerous I mean you can walk in intending to only buy two things and you walk out an hour later with 23 things and a much emptier wallet.
For example, take today. I went to Target with the intention to buy a heater for my room and a CD for my mom's belated Christmas gift. But I'm sorry, even people with the best willpower in the world can hardly control themselves. Target has EVERYTHING. Literally. It must be one of the only places you can buy milk, a digital camera, a bathroom rug, a video game, and a bed comforter all in the same trip. Crazy.
So there I was, lost in my happy place, looking at a million things I don't need but suddenly seemed very important to have. "Well, I DO need a new umbrella...and while I'm here I should get a new watch since my last one died. Oooo look at the fun jewelry over there! Ok, Sarah...FOCUS. Mom's CD. Hmmm....I wonder why they have all the CD's, DVD's, and books togeth....oh, I've been looking for that book! And it's so cheap!" You get the picture.
I don't know if I'm the only one with this problem in Target. Seriously, that place is dangerous. Soon they'll probably dim the lights, take away all clocks, and cover the windows like they do in casinos so we don't know how much time we've been in there and we keep shopping for random stuff we think we need. They might even have ladies going around to shoppers taking drink orders. Oh Target...
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
what's been happening
I was inspired by my friend Cara (Hi Macsies! We all loved your note!) to write what sorts of things I've been into lately. We'll start with:
Music - I have been listening to 2 main CD's lately. Sherwood (you can check 'em out at www.sherwoodmusic.net) and Chant (which is a CD of Gregorian chants by Spanish monks - very peaceful)
TV - Grey's Anatomy has been on the past 2 weeks (yeah for the ladies in my house!) and Heroes started up again last night after a two month break. LOST begins again on Feb. 7th and the new season of Survivor starts in Feb, too. That's all I watch, I promise! Gosh, 4 shows sounds like a lot, but it doesn't feel like that much.
Books - I just started a new book called "Transitions" by William Bridges (you can check it out under my Books section to the left). It's been really interesting. He talks about methods for coping and dealing with transitions in life whether it's moving, a new job, divorce, marriage, new child, death, etc. He breaks the transition into three stages: The Ending, the Transitional or Neutral Zone, and the Beginning. Take the example of losing a job (whether by quitting, retiring, or getting fired). He talks about how important it is to mourn for what's lost. And to take advantage of the hard in-between time (most of us would rather rush into the new beginning, but he advises against that because we can learn so much from that transitional time). And then to embrace the new beginning.
He even used the example of entering a dating relationship. I was like, "Huh? What 'ending' is involved there? Isn't it a 'beginning' right off the bat?" But he says that before we enter a new relationship, it's important to focus somewhat on how things will change. Not so much a mourning for singlehood, but a time of realizaion that we will no longer be just thinking about ourselves. We won't just be doing things on a whim anymore, because soon someone else will be involved. And like anything we want to flourish, it will need our time and attention. And then there's the in-between time of dating and the "beginning" is of course the beginning of the steady relationship. Each stage is different for different reasons. I think the idea of mourning what is lost and embracing the in-between time is a cool idea.
Movies - I just recently saw Pan's Labyrinth and it was SO good. It was super hard to watch the violent stuff (closed my eyes a few times) and if you're not into subtitles you can skip it. But wow, I was amazed and I totally recommend it. (http://www.panslabyrinth.com)
Theater - in a month and a half, I am taking a road trip to LA with some friends to see the musical Wicked! Yeah! We bought our tickets back in October, so we've been looking forward to this for a long time. I'm sure we'll be singing all the songs on the way down...
And last but not least...this doesn't really fit into any of the above categories but I just have to say how much I am loving my jazz class. I look forward to it every week. We're learning a dance and I love coming home and showing it to anyone who will watch. =)
Monday, January 22, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
spiritual gifts
Ahh...spiritual gifts. I have been studying them lately and I was stoked to learn that when we become Christians, we not only receive the Holy Spirit, we receive the spiriual gifts he has already chosen for us. Trippy! But so dang cool. I guess I never thought about that. I mean, I knew all Christians had spiritual gifts. But I never thought about where they came from (or when) and how they were already pre-determined for us. I love that.
So, I took one of those "spiritual gifts" tests. I know these tests are man-made (not divinely inspired) so they are a tool, not an end. But I still thought it would be cool to get some direction on identfying my gifts. So I added up my answers and my top three gifts are: hospitality, exhortation, and pastor/shepherd.
I can definitely see the hospitality and exhortation (encouragement) gifts in my life. But it wasn't until I got the results back that I realized, "Wow! I really do have the 'shepherd' mentality!" And what else is interesting is that I never really used it or felt it this strongly in my life....until I became the college director.
According to those tests, here are some words associated with being a pastor/shepherd: "the ability to care for the spiritual needs of a group of people on a long-term basis, protecting, feeding, leading, nurturing, etc." I truly feel like a pastor/shepherd with my college students. I care so much about them, I feel protective of them (in a good way), I get such joy from loving them, "feeding" them, being a leader training them to be leaders, wanting to encourage them in their relationships with the Lord, and other things like that.
I feel great joy to think about God's soverignty and how He knew I would be in this position one day (even though I NEVER would have dreamed I'd be here) and gave me the gifts I would need for this ministry. I am weirded out by that thought, but again, in a good way. =)
If you have never taken a spiritual gifts test and you have 30 minutes to kill, here's one you can take. It's not the one I took, but it looks pretty similar:
http://www.kodachrome.org/spiritgift/
Have fun!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
The kick-off has begun
Last week the college group kicked off for the winter/spring semester. That means we go straight on until the end of May. Usually around the end of March or early April I start a countdown because I begin to get very tired. But since I've had a break, I am rearin' to go!
To kick things off, we all went to an ice skating rink. If you ever want to have 2 hours of laughter, take college students ice skating. People were falling all over the place, students were trying to do spins and turns (unsuccessfully), there was multiple running into walls, we even had a guy take his shirt off during a slow song, go into the middle of the rink, sink to his knees, and sing along with the song with his eyes closed and doing expressive hand motions.
After that we all got lost trying to find an In N'Out (my fault...I am bad at directions) but then found it and ate double-doubles to our heart's content (at 10:30 at night...yikes). And THEN on the way home, the police stopped traffic on the freeway for 10-15 minutes. Controlled chaos ensued - running around, taking pictures, Chinese fire drills, going from car to car, spontaneous dancing, you name it...all in the middle of the freeway with other people probably thinking we're crazy. Nope, we're just young people who love to have fun. It's fun making memories with these students. These are the times I sit back, sigh, and go, "I can't believe this is my job."
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
All That Jazz
Tonight was a very special night...I took a step in completing a New Year's Resolution. Let me back up and say I normally don't make "New Year's Resolutions". But I specifically did this year because I looked back at the last 6 months and realized my life wasn't very balanced (ie. working too much) and I wanted to make changes. And the new year was a great opportunity to start! =)
So anyway, one of my New Years Resolutions was to join a dance class. I grew up taking dance and loved it - 5 years of ballet and 4 years of jazz. Dancing is my favorite exercise, hands down. But if you're not in a class and you don't go out dancing on the weekends, you don't get to practice much. So I decided - heck, I'm going for it!
There's a dance studio downtown that offers classes for all ages, different types of dance, evenings after work, etc. All good things. I decided to sign up for the Beginner/Intermediate Teen/Adult jazz class. Tonight was my first one. I walked into the studio and quickly noted that it was 4 high school girls...and me. It struck me as quite funny. It became even more funny when the class started and it was obvious that these girls have taken jazz before (and from the same teacher) so they were REALLY good and I was struggling to keep up. I'm a bit rusty.
But it was so fun! I felt like I came alive! It has seriously been 12 or 13 years since I last took a jazz class and I forgot how much I loved it. Our teacher's name was Leslie and she was very nice. She worked us through warm-up, some floor exercises, and then we started learning a dance she made up. Sweet! Me and 4 teenagers! Sweet.
Can't wait till next Tuesday.
Monday, January 08, 2007
64 degrees and sunny
It was 64 degrees today. Ahhhh....I love living in California. I went out to lunch with a student and I just could NOT stop talking about the weather. Clear, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. And it's January. Winter. Love it. I am sort of dreading the rain...not because I don't like the rain, but because once it starts, I'm afraid it won't stop for months. (it felt like it rained a LOT last Winter/Spring) But for now, I am going to make sure I am outside as much as possible so I can enjoy this winter gift. Oh, the sun. How I love thee.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
I don't get it
Sorry to start 2007's first blog with kind of a sad topic, but I've been thinking about this since yesterday. I wanted to cook a big, fun dinner for New Years Day so I went to the grocery store to get all the goods. Everything was great until I got to the checkout line. Inevitably, there are entertainment magazines with glossy covers and stars on the front to grab our eye. My eye was drawn to one on top that said "American Idol contestants talk about how they lost their weight!" The cover had pictures of Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Hudson (who is in "Dreamgirls" right now), Carrie Underwood, and other A.I. contestants. They showed "Before" pictures where they looked fine and healthy. And I was like, "Why did they feel they needed to lose weight?"
And then I was so sad, because seriously, directly underneath that magazine was another one...with Mary-Kate Olsen and Nicole Ritchie on the cover looking sickly skinny and some dumb title like "Have they lost too much?" I got angry and sad at the same time. Dude, why is our world so messed up sometimes? There is this constant pressure on women to be skinny like what they see in the media and then people wonder why there are so many girls with eating disorders. Maybe I'm just really sensitive about this issue lately, because I recently found out one of my students has been struggling with eating issues since she was 12 and I have no doubt she's not the only one in the group.
This topic is nothing new, I'm sure it's talked about all the time. But I don't know that I see anything changing. I wonder if in fact things are getting worse. I mean, it's great for women to eat healthy, exercise, take care of their bodies, etc. But these celebrities go to the extreme to get thin and it bums me out because that's what girls all over the world see and think of as "perfection".
What can I do? I can't change the world or the way the world does things. But I can be there for the women in my life that struggle with this. It might be something small, but at least it's something. Hard stuff.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Happy New Year (a bit early)
The last two weeks have been so great. I drove down to So. Cal the week before Christmas and spent 7 glorious days away from work and life. I got to see a ton of friends who live down there - yeah! Here are my highlights:
* the drive down and back. That may sound strange but it was great thinking, praying, processing time for me. Maybe you guys are the same way.
* beautiful sunny, cold weather the whole week!
* watching Elf and eating Christmas cookies with my old roomate. And playing with her big ol' golden retreiver, Gus.
* going on morning "Walk/Talks" with friends
* San Diego Zoo! Wow, I hadn't been there in 10 years. Way too much fun. The hippos are probably my favs. I got to feed giraffes some treats and they had the longest and slimiest tongues I've ever seen. LOVED it.
* Sleeping, sleeping, and um...more sleeping.
* Driving to Torrance and seeing the lights. There is this famous neighborhood that goes all out, so on Christmas Eve Eve, my best friend from college, her husband, and I drove to check 'em out. Strangely, while we were waiting in line, two cars in front of us ran into each other and the two cars in back of us ran into each other...but our car was fine. But that's another story. Anyway, it was amazing! Lights, Santas, nativity scenes, trees, fake snow blowing, music playing, families in front of their homes selling hot chocolate, mistletoe, popcorn, wreaths, etc. I could have stayed all night.
I was actually pretty bummed to drive back Christmas Eve. Not because I don't love my life here...but because I love vacation. It's so restful and relaxing. I feel like it re-energizes my soul.
So I came home for the midnight Christmas Eve service at my church and then drove to my parent's house Christmas Day. Always good times with my fam at the holidays. These times usually include three or more of the following: a) yummy food b) laughter c) cramped sleeping quarters (when we were kids, it was fine. But now we're all HUGE!) d) movies (either renting or going out to see them) e) typical family annoyances (everyone can attest to this one, I'm sure) f) games g) morning gatherings in the kitchen, hanging out and talking in our pjs h) sometimes all of the above
I went to work Wed. and Thurs. but I was still sort of in La-La Vacation Land. So starting Tuesday Jan. 2nd, the real work begins. I feel more ready for it now.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and have a happy new year!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Two years in a row!!
*** Mike Murrow!! I KNOW you are going to read this. You should feel very, very bad for what hapened last night!
Last night was our house Christmas party and it was good times...except for what I got in the gift exchange. If any of you read last year's blog about our party, you'll remember that I got a box of CEMENT from the aforementioned Mike Murrow. I was like, "Dude, you better bring something NICE to make up for that next year!"
Mike and his roomate Rob came to our house last night carrying this HUGE packge and I was totally NOT going to choose it during the exchange. I had learned my lesson. But then I was in the kitchen talking to friends and Mike comes in and tells us secretly that it is REALLY nice, he IS making up for last year, he bought a matching one for his MOM and other lies like that. So then, I thought, "Hmmm...maybe I will give him a chance to redeem himself from last year. If it IS nice, I can use it at work or in my room or something.
The gift exchange began! There was some amazingly hilarious gifts this year, including "The Ovary of Eve" book for roomate Laurel, "Preparing for Adolescence" for my frind Karen, a DVD on belly dancing for David, a ceramic statue of a Hawaiian couple kissing, and other such gems. When it came to be my turn, I had made up my mind. I was going for it.
My first clue should have been when Mike started laughing hysterically when I choose it. I started ripping off tape and opening the huge box. It was a nasty used-to-be-white chair! Ugh! I got duped 2 years in a row! It smelled so bad, the cushions were pretty much grey...what the heck?! I didn't think anything could top the cement. I was wrong.
Moral of the story: Never believe anything Mike M. tells you. Ever.
Ok, I'm off for vacation, everyone. I'll be back the 28th. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Friday, December 15, 2006
'Tis the season for par-tays
Wednesday evening we had our college Christmas Banquet. We had a great night. I loved seeing everyone all dressed up. 4 ladies came and cooked dinner for us (it was so delicious!), we played a game, sang Christmas songs, and had a white elephant gift exchange. It was kind of our "farewell" for the semester. We don't have college group for a month. I get to BREATHE. =) Yeah!
Our house is throwing our 5th annual White Elephant Gift Exchagnge Par-tay (why are gift exchanges so much fun!?) tomorrow night at 7:30 pm. All are welcome and invited, so if you live in the area, come on over!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Saturday, December 09, 2006
College students getting married...
I had the opportunity to visit a bridal shop with one of my college students the other day. She had already picked out her dress but was going to get it fitted, altered, etc. I have gone with many friends (my age) to look at their dresses in the past, but this was my first time going with a student. It was so great to see her get in her dress and be so excited! The people who helped her in the store were so nice and helpful. They fussed over her which was so cute. Good times.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Dogs vs. Cats
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Till then, in an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?! My only consolation is the piece of thumb still lodged between my teeth.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now...
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Sarah, be real.
Last week I was talking to the college group about our mission statement and checking in to see how we were doing. And then I wanted to share a vision of where I wanted to see our group go. One thing I really wanted to address was the idea of being real with other. Being REAL. Authentic. Genuine. Open. Honest. Vulnerable. Going deeper with each other. I was sharing a frustration I have when people feel they need to put on a happy face and pretend like everything's all right when they come to church. "How are you?" someone asks them. "Oh, I'm fine. How are you?" is there immediate reply. If we are truly trying to be an authentic community, we have to go deeper then that. Church should be the one place we SHOULDN'T have to act like everything is all right. It should be the one place where broken people can come together and love, encourage, and support each other during life's hard times.
I was in the middle of talking and I completely stopped. It was like a tug on my heart. A conviction. Sarah, why are you asking these students to be true and real and honest with each other when you are not doing that yourself? I had to supress that thought until I could think and process about it later. I kept on talking, but still had a hard time ignoring that conviction.
That night I thought about it when I got home. Boy, what a good, hard night. A night of realization. I was thinking back on these past 15 months I've been working in the college ministry...and how I always thought I had to act like everything was great and perfect around the students. Everytime they asked me how I was, I always smiled and said things were fine, when many times they weren't. Why have I been doing that? I think it's because I thought that's what good leaders did. Good leaders needed to have it all together. They could handle anything. People want to follow people like that, right? If I showed my struggles, they might perceive me as weak. Students don't want to follow a leader that is a mess once in awhile (or maybe more than once in awhile)...right? They have enough to deal with in their own lives. They want leaders who can provide stability and strength for them. Right!?!?
I have never taken a class or seminar on leadership. Many times I wish I had. I have to learn a lot about leadership by experience. I could probably write a book on all I've learned about leadership (mostly through mistakes). But anyway, this is something key I have been convicted about: I don't need to be perfect (or act perfect) to be a good leader. I need to be REAL. Students can't relate to a leader who doesn't seem to have struggles. But they CAN relate to a leader who goes through hard times and reaches out to people during that time for help. CONVICTION. Oh what have I been doing this whole time?
I think about my boss and how much I respect him. If he was fake around me and said he was always fine when he wasn't, I doubt I would respect him as much or see him as a great leader. But one of the things I appreciate most about him is that's he's REAL with me. When he's having a crappy day, he tells me when I ask. When he's struggling with things in life - family, finances, job, whatever - he doesn't hide it, but rather shares it and we can encourage him and pray for him. How amazing.
So from this point on, I am choosing to be real. Not that I'm going to break down and talk for a half hour about my hardships when a student asks me how I'm doing. (I have God, roomates, and friends for that) But if I want them to be honest and vulnerable with me, the least I can do is do the same. And hey, if you guys ever ask me how I'm doing, I am going to give you an honest answer. And I would hope you would do the same for me.
Come on, Sarah. Be real.