Saturday, January 30, 2010


Hard week.

What I'm mainly dealing with is feeling alone. Last year, there was a lot of change at work (and outside of work, but mostly at work). Many people, including my boss of 4 years, left. All for good reasons, but it was still hard to see the ones I had worked with so closely leave. I also got a new boss, but the timing was bad because just as he got that new title, he left for a 4 month sabbatical. But I still had my intern, so I wasn't completely stranded. Right?

And then he decides to leave and I feel so alone. I don't want to lead alone. I have never wanted to do things by myself. I am a team player. I love the support and encouragement a team dynamic brings. And here I am: no boss, no intern, I don't have an Admin or any other associates. I feel abandoned. And his timing was also bad: right before our biggest trip of the year (going to the snow next weekend) and right before I am about to go on vacay and I need him to lead things. I asked him to stay for 3 more weeks and he would not. Who DOES that?!

In the midst of this hard week, I think, "Sarah, just trust God! He has always provided. He will take care of you. Think of all the other things in life he has brought you out of..." etc. And I wonder, if I really trusted God, I wouldn't worry, right? So why I am worrying?

Why do I let things affect me so much? I was talking to my counselor about it and he said that some people are sensitive to the world and they feel things more than others. So on one hand, it's a blessing because I can experience great joy in situations. But on the other hand, I can feel the hardness and sadness of situations deeper than others. Weird, but I can understand that a little better.

It has been really cool this week to see how people have been there for me. I am so blessed by everyone's prayers. People have listened to me, let me cry, prayed with me, offered to help however they can. And one of my adult leaders and one of my student leaders have stepped up to help with the intern responsibilities until we get a new intern. God has placed very special people in my life.

Well, I'm gonna wrap up. I guess I wanted to give you all an update of where I am with all this. Still hard, still struggling, wish I wasn't.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

the good things

Since I am in the midst of a hard time, I have decided to dedicate a whole blog post to the things I am thankful for right now. When I feel down, it's easy to focus on all the bad things. I want to spend some time focusing on the good things.


* My amazing friends and family. Seriously, what would I do without them? I am so thankful for everyone's prayers and encouragements. I need them. They mean so much to me.

* My sister Emily got to be an extra on the set of GLEE yesterday. Are you kidding me?! She saw the whole cast! She sent me pictures and texts all day. It was amazing. Here's what I can report: they were filming in the gym for the Madonna episode. Mercedes was on one side of the gym with half the cheerleaders, Kurt was on the other side with the other half of the cheerleaders (M and K were both in cheer uniforms - does that mean they've joined the Cheerios?) They performed "4 Minutes" by Madonna and Justin Timberlake. Emily said the rest of the cast, including Emma and Sue was up in the bleachers with all the extras watching. Emily said we will LOVE their version of the song. They sang and danced to it 15 times to get all the camera angles.

Mr. Schuester was there and she said he is even cuter in real life (just like Puck). He was sitting down the row from her and did the robot in between takes, just for fun. Can you see him in this picture?

Afterwards, they filmed a scene with Finn in a basketball uniform, doing a dream sequence to "Hello, I Love You" by the Doors. This scene must be for another episode. Here's another picture Emily snuck me. Sitting against the back wall is Finn and Quinn.

Emily said she smiled at Puck as they passed by him. And then she said after she turned in her paperwork (to get paid) she was walking down the hall, and Mr. Schue and Rachel walked right by her! "I could have nudged right into them, Sarah!"

* I am thankful for my co-workers. One of them let me just cry my eyes out yesterday morning. She then sent me on a walk during a break in the rain. The air smelled so good - fresh and clean. I walked to a gazebo at the community college nearby. I looked at the trees and plants. I put a flower in my hair. Simple things. But lovely. And very much needed.

* Last Saturday evening, I got to see Eddie Izzard (comedian) with 2 sisters. And we got FREE tickets! We had a hookup who gave us not only free tickets but luxury suite seats! We were up in a box room with 10 other people and there was free food and drinks. Swanky. I needed to laugh that night, and I did. That felt good.

* Before the show, I got to see my nephew. It didn't matter that it was only 45 minutes. His smile warms my heart. I just love that little munch.

* Hawaii in 2 weeks.

* Starbucks date with a dear friend who listened to me and also just let me cry and shared some wisdom from a book she was reading.

* A walk with our neighbor's 3 golden retrievers. I tell people I am taking the dogs on a walk, but really, they take ME for a walk. They are so big and so excited to get outside, they literally pull me along the sidewalk and I can barely keep up. I love them! Exercise and cute dogs? Yes, please.

* I got to see the 2 kids I used to babysit for on Sunday. I have not seen them in ages! I freaked out a little because the little boy I knew at 6 years old is now almost 14, extremely tall, and has a low voice. Hello puberty.

* My blog, where I can write down what I'm feeling and process things better.

Saturday, January 23, 2010


My intern has decided that he does not want to do ministry anymore and he is leaving. Yes, leaving. He's just going to up and leave. We have our college snow trip in two weekends and he was supposed to run the group for me in February for two weeks while I am gone on vacation with my family. But no. He is bailing.

Upon receiving this news, my plans are to:

1. Cuss as loud as possible.

2. Throw something.

3. Burst into tears.

in that order.

So now if you'll excuse me...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Extreme Makeover: Office Edition update

Back in October, I blogged about how we were sprucing up our office. Update: we have carpet! This was the main thing I was excited about. The floor in our office was JANKED UP. But no longer! The carpet guys came in and now we have brand new soft, beautiful, light-colored carpet. Look at the "before" and "after" pictures. Much improved, yes?

We also moved out unused furniture and got a new filing cabinet and mini fridge. And now with all our desks and other stuff moved back in...our room actually looks like a legit office now! All we're waiting on is a "Student Ministries" plaque for our door and one more desk. Yeahhhh!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

a good day

Went to church, enjoyed the rain, went for a run, watched the Golden Globes (SO happy Glee won for Best TV series [Comedy or Musical] and that Avatar won for Best Picture), made cookie dough (didn't even make cookies; just ate the dough), and cleaned my room.

A good day. And I don't have to work tomorrow. Thank you, MLK Jr.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

pray for Haiti

The earthquake (and its aftermath) in Haiti is breaking my heart. I can't believe the destruction and how many people have lost their lives. I just wrote this on facebook but the college group sponsors a 5 year old boy in Haiti named Steeve (he lives north of Port-au-Prince). We wrote Compassion to check up on him and we're waiting to hear if he and his family are safe. What if he and his family have lost their home? What if little Steeve died in the earthquake? Oh my gosh, I am so sad, I don't even want to think about it.

If you want to give money, there are tons of organizations accepting donations for Haiti. I'm donating to Compassion, since we have Steeve through them. And let's keep praying for this country.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

message to my teeth

Dear teeth,

Thanks for putting up with the past couple days and all the appointments and poking and prodding. After meeting with the dentist (don't you feel much cleaner?) and the orthodontist, we have a ending date in sight! February 24th. On that beautiful day every single bracket, wire, and rubberband will be removed from you and we will be free of braces forever.

You guys have been such troopers and I appreciate it. Can you make it six more weeks? I promise to continue brushing you multiple times every day, flossing you every night, and eating healthy, yummy foods for you to chomp on.

Let's not think about the extra cleanings, retainers, new veneers, and 2 crowns you will need after the braces come off. One step at a time. Let's celebrate what's in front of us. February 24th - what a glorious day it shall be!!

Yours faithfully,

Sunday, January 10, 2010

get DOWN with yo bad self!

Last night, our friend Alan came over when we were making dinner. In the midst of our conversation, the topic came up about how he has no rhythm. And he wants some. Because last year for Halloween at his work (apparently they go ALL OUT, with costume prizes and everything) he dressed up as Richard Simmons and did a fake workout in front of 100 co-workers. He won 50 bucks.

"So Sarah," he said, "I need you to teach me some moves. Because this year, I'm going big: Michael Jackson. I'm gonna learn the dance to 'Smooth Criminal' and some people in my department are going to dance it with me. And I only have 10 months to find some rhythm so I say we start tonight."

15 minutes later, we were pushing aside bean bags and couches in our living room, pulling out ipods, and all wearing gangsta hats (with the brims facing the side, of course). Dance party!! I taught them some hip hop moves I've learned in my class and we laughed and sweated the night away. What a workout! But so fun.

We are very white.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

GLEE fall finale

I know the GLEE fall finale was a long time ago but I haven't had a chance to blog about it yet. Let's jump in and discuss, shall we?

First, let's talk about Quinn. Poor girl has been kicked out of the Cheerios, her own home, and now that Finn knows the truth about Puck being her baby daddy, where will she live now? It takes two to make a baby and yet Quinn is reaping all the consequences. And yes, it was dumb to lie to Finn about him being the father, but sheesh. Cut the girl some slack, Fox. And please make sure she finds a place to live, mmmmkay?

Next, I loved Mercedes rendition of "And I'm Telling You (I'm Not Going). She didn't lip synch very well, but who the heck cares when she's belting it out like that. BRING IT, GIRL!

Best quote of the episode comes from Sue Sylvester (of course): "I am reasonably confident that you will be adding 'revenge' to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hair style that doesn't make you look like a lesbian."

Moving on, one thing I do not like and have never been a fan of: Will and Emma. Now don't get me wrong. I love Mr. Schuester. LOVE. If such things were possible, I would marry him and have his babies and they'd all have curly hair and he would sing us all to sleep every night. And how can you not love Emma? I love her clothes, she's cute as a button, and beyond sweet. But I don't like them TOGETHER. A fellow blogger bud Lydia posted about this while ago and I totally agree:

Lydia: "Now for the only thing i don't like about the show [GLEE]. in fact - i hate it.

* how they try to make you root for adultery

that is NOT ok!#@* if you are caught in a loveless marriage where your pathetic wife is faking a pregnancy, just to try & hold on, it's over. get a divorce! don't keep running around flirting like crazy like there is no consequence. RIDIC! said it."

Well said, my friend. Even if Will and Emma didn't have a physical affair, they definitely were having an emotional one. I was so proud of her when she told him "Yeah, you JUST left your wife," and then walked away. Finally! Way to acknowledge that you guys need to pull the brakes.

And the end comes and he freaking runs through the halls and kisses her. What?! And she's fine, even happy about it. WHAT!? I am probably the only female in America who feels this way, but oh well.

Next, Rachel was AMAZING with her "Don't Rain On My Parade" song at sectionals! She gave me goosebumps. She was channeling Barbara Streisand all over the place. That girl can SING.

The final song "My Life Would Suck Without You" was also really fun. Is it awesome or worrisome that I recognized almost all the dances they did from previous episodes? Am I too obsessed with this show?

And now we have to wait 4 months for more. Boooooooo...

Monday, January 04, 2010

2010 begins

Here are some pixs from New Years. Like I mentioned in the previous post, some friends rented out a roller rink and we partied! It was a "Capes and Bling" theme and people came all decked out. Two of my roomates and I decided to dress up as 60's Go-Go dancers and we covered ourselves in glitter, flower stickers, and whatever bling we could find. It was such a fun night.

Now onto what this new year holds.

In 2010 I plan to:

* cut 10 inches of my hair for Locks of Love

* get my braces off

* go to Lake Tahoe and play in the snow

* go to Hawaii with my family in February

* go on a date

* continue to spend lots of time with my nephew

* visit my friend Jody in Colorado this summer

* go for a ride in a hot air balloon (this was a goal last year and it didn't happen, so I am rolling it over to this year)

Other than that, I am open to whatever adventures life throws my way. Are you all excited for a new year?

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy New Year!

I have some great pictures I want to share from New Years Eve (some friends of ours rented out a roller rink and threw a party with a "Capes and Bling" theme), but sadly they will have to wait a few days. My laptop has decided to let Satan possess it, so I am without a computer till Monday. But I hope you all had a great New Years Eve and are enjoying the first few days of the new year. Happy 2010!