Tuesday, October 30, 2012

we are the champions

*cue the Queen song*

"Weeeeee are the champions, my friends..... And weeeeeee'll keep on fiiiightin' till the enddddddd...."

I haven't been blogging because my life has been consumed by work and watching baseball. And it is with great pride that I announce THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS HAVE WON THE WORLD SERIES! The second time in 3 years. I can barely stand it.

Tomorrow, I am heading up to SF with 1 million people to watch all the players ride down Market Street in trolley cars for a ticker tape parade. I've got to go to bed because we're getting up super early to BART in. Yeah!!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

busy October

Life is busy. Good busy. But busy. I'm actually looking forward to November when things will calm down.

2 quick things to mention:

* Things at work are going really well. I am 2 months into my new job and am enjoying it more and more. Still learning a lot. But it's been a really good couple of weeks.

* Tomorrow I am going to Game 7 of the NLCS (National League Championship Series). The SF Giants and St. Louis Cardinals are tied 3 games to 3 games. Whoever wins tomorrow night goes to THE WORLD SERIES. The ballpark is going to be cah-razy and I can't wait to be a part of it!

Friday, October 12, 2012


I have been thinking about "belonging" a lot lately.

I believe inside each of us, we have a deep desire to BELONG.

We want to belong to something. 

We want to belong somewhere.

Maybe you have a favorite coffeeshop you go to everyday. You walk in, the people working there know you by name, you have a favorite drink you always order, and you see familiar faces of other customers/friends. Maybe you love exercising and you feel like you belong at your gym (I have a lot of friends into Crossfit). Or maybe you're like my sister and you love YouTube videos and go to VidCon every year, where they bring YouTube personalities together for a big three day conference. Maybe you're a Trekkie and you love the feeling of going to those Star Trek conventions. Maybe you feel like you belong in a bookstore, concert hall, or movie theater. Where do you love to go and nerd out? Where is a place where even if you and everyone else are so different from each other, you have that one thing in common?

I'm going to share three illustrations in my own life of where I feel like I belong (these 3 are the first that popped to my mind).

1) Disneyland

I have loved Disneyland ever since I was a kid. When I went to college in southern Cal, my friends and I bought annual passes and went every single weekend. And my best friend has been working at D-land since 1998 (she even met her husband there!) so anytime I visit them, we go party with Mickey. You'd think someone who has been to the Happiest Place On Earth so much would grow tired of it. But no. I love it just as much as ever. And everytime I walk through the gates and enter Main Street, I have the same feeling. I am surrounded by families, kids, parades, magic, dreams, hope, sights, smells, sounds, fireworks, shows, happiness. I love nerding out with people about Disneyland. We talk about our favorite rides or favorite experiences. And don't even get me started on how awesome that place is at Christmas time. When I find out from a friend that they've never been, I immediately say, "We HAVE to go!" I want them to enjoy this place as much as I do.

2) AT&T Park

Home of the San Francisco Giants. If you're friends with me on facebook, you're probably tired of reading my status updates about the Giants. But I can't help it. I luff those boys. I know all their names, stats, personalities, and stories. I love being inside AT&T Park with 42,000 fellow fans, all wearing our orange and black, and cheering our hearts (and throats) out. I belong there. I can nerd out as much as I want because everyone there understands me completely and can talk for hours with me about the game. And it doesn't matter what ballpark you go to - it's just a fun experience. You can feel the electricity in the air, you get to eat hot dogs, peanuts, and cotton candy, and there are all sorts of fun games or activities between innings (kiss cam, dance cam, contests, videos of players answering funny questions, sing-alongs, 7th inning stretch, etc). When I meet someone who hasn't been to the park, I immediately say, "We HAVE to go!"

3) The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

I have and always will love that little wizard. Favorite book series. When I had the opportunity to go to Orlando and visit the newly opened Harry Potter theme park last October, I jumped at it. Best. Day. Ever. I wish I had a picture of my face to show you guys. I walked around smiling like an idiot ALL DAY. I couldn't stop. I belonged. The world I had created in my mind while reading these books was real and alive and right before my eyes. I nerded out BIG TIME that day. I could talk about dementors, boggarts, howlers, nargles, muggles, firebolts, bludgers, hippogriffs, horcruxes, deathly hallows, azkaban, butterbeer (most amazing thing I've ever drank), occlumency, basilisks, diagon alley, etc. to my heart's content. And people knew what I was talking about! I was tempted to hide inside Hogwarts castle so I didn't have to leave. Ever since I've been back, I've been telling Harry Potter peeps they need to go. (Side note: did you know they're building the same Harry Potter theme park in the Universal Studios in Hollywood?! 6 hours away!!)

Why bring all this up?

Because I have been thinking about the Church. (Church with a capital "C").

The ultimate place to belong.

With my new job, I've been realizing how much I love my church (church with a lower-case "c" - my actual church). With all my transition, the people I work with have been so kind and gracious and supportive. We really love each other. And it's because we love God and that love overflows onto others.

I am now looking forward to Sundays more than any other day of the week. I walk into church and I instantly feel it: I BELONG here. We gather for a common purpose. To worship God. We are all different, but we all have that in common.

There is nothing greater in my life. To gather with other believers and worship the Creator of heaven and earth. And it's happening all around the WORLD. People of every country, race, nationality, tribe, and walk of life are worshiping the one true God. We are the Church.

There are people out there who maybe don't worship on Sundays. Or maybe they never have. And I know how much I love that feeling of belonging. I need to be like I would be when I hear people have never read a Harry Potter book, or been to a baseball game or Disneyland. "We have to go!" I want them to experience how good and rich and deep and purposeful life is with God. I want them to come "nerd out" about God with me. I want them to realize that being a part of the Church is where they belong.

Monday, October 08, 2012

wedding blues

This past weekend, I went to the wedding of two of my college students, who are both 22. I was so excited about it. These two are quality, quality people. I got all dolled up and walked into the church smiling from ear to ear. I sat with some of my other college students and enjoyed the beautiful ceremony. When it finished, we all stood up to walk over to the reception hall. And that's when it began.

I felt ambushed by couples.

"Sarah! So good to see you. Did you come with anyone?"

"Hey Sarah! When are you going to join this bandwagon? Haha!"

"What a beautiful wedding. Your day will be coming soon."

"I just don't understand why someone as wonderful as you isn't married yet." 

"Don't worry, Sarah. *wink* He's out there somewhere."

"Oh Sarah! We have GOT to set you up with someone so you can have a special day like this."

What the HELL, people?! Let me just get some freakin' punch and sit down at a table.

My spirits, which had been soaring watching these two awesome people commit their lives to one another, were now in shambles. This wedding wasn't about me at all. And yet, there I was...unable to enjoy the reception and feeling sad because of those comments.

Most of these couples are between 30-60 and are friends from church or parents of some of my college students. I know they love me. I know they mean well. They always do. But for the love of God, do they not realize how comments like that make me feel? I don't want people to feel bad for me. I don't want people to pity me. I don't want their comments. I already struggle every day with those thoughts and doubts and I'm constantly battling Satan who tries to make me feel worthless and unwanted. Their words are like salt in a wound.

Their comments actually made me think of this scene from Bridget Jones Diary.

This movie came out in 2001 when I was 24. At the time, I laughed at poor Bridget's embarrassment and thought, "Oh man, I'm so glad I won't have to deal with this. I will definitely be married by 30."

And here I am, 35, single, and going to weddings of my 22 year old college students. And feeling like everyone is looking at me like, "Why isn't she married? What's wrong with her?"

I came home and cried and then wiped my tears and put on my brave face. Again.