update

Hard week.

What I'm mainly dealing with is feeling alone. Last year, there was a lot of change at work (and outside of work, but mostly at work). Many people, including my boss of 4 years, left. All for good reasons, but it was still hard to see the ones I had worked with so closely leave. I also got a new boss, but the timing was bad because just as he got that new title, he left for a 4 month sabbatical. But I still had my intern, so I wasn't completely stranded. Right?

And then he decides to leave and I feel so alone. I don't want to lead alone. I have never wanted to do things by myself. I am a team player. I love the support and encouragement a team dynamic brings. And here I am: no boss, no intern, I don't have an Admin or any other associates. I feel abandoned. And his timing was also bad: right before our biggest trip of the year (going to the snow next weekend) and right before I am about to go on vacay and I need him to lead things. I asked him to stay for 3 more weeks and he would not. Who DOES that?!

In the midst of this hard week, I think, "Sarah, just trust God! He has always provided. He will take care of you. Think of all the other things in life he has brought you out of..." etc. And I wonder, if I really trusted God, I wouldn't worry, right? So why I am worrying?

Why do I let things affect me so much? I was talking to my counselor about it and he said that some people are sensitive to the world and they feel things more than others. So on one hand, it's a blessing because I can experience great joy in situations. But on the other hand, I can feel the hardness and sadness of situations deeper than others. Weird, but I can understand that a little better.

It has been really cool this week to see how people have been there for me. I am so blessed by everyone's prayers. People have listened to me, let me cry, prayed with me, offered to help however they can. And one of my adult leaders and one of my student leaders have stepped up to help with the intern responsibilities until we get a new intern. God has placed very special people in my life.

Well, I'm gonna wrap up. I guess I wanted to give you all an update of where I am with all this. Still hard, still struggling, wish I wasn't.