Once in awhile I get inspired to share what I'm reading about in the bible. And I'm in one of those moods today. So, allow me to share some fun thoughts and insight into the fabulous book of....Judges. Hmmm...most people don't really think of Judges for excitement or stories, including myself. But I've never read it all the way through until recently and I ended up loving it. Who knew? And plus I've been reading out of my new Study Bible so it gives all sorts of fun background, history, interesting tidbits, etc. which help me get into the bible even more. Anyway, you don't have to read this if you're not feelin' it today. It might just be for my own enjoyment. =)
Ok, so let's jump in!
Judges comes right after Moses' time and Joshua. The Israelites were not following God, other tribes would come and overtake them, the Israelites would cry out to God, and then God would rise up a judge or "deliverer". There was no king yet in Israel (David's era was coming up in a bit) so the judges were essentially the leaders at that time. There were six main judges: Othniel, Ehud, Deborah, Gideon, Jephthah, and Samson. And then there were six minor judges: Shamgar, Tola, Jair, Ibzan, Elon, and Abdon. I'm not going to talk about all of them, just the three that jumped out at me.
Can we first acknowledge how rad these names are? "Hello, nice to meet you, my name is Ibzan." *firm handshake*
* Ehud - cool dude. Left-handed. I wasn't quite sure why the bible shared that, but then it made sense as I read on. The Israelites had been overtaken by an evil king Eglon (again, rad name) for 18 years. Ehud decided to go see this evil king and he makes a double-edged sword about a foot and a half long and he straps it to his right thigh under his clothing. The cool part about this? Ehud was able to conceal his dagger on the side where it was not expected. Since most people were right-handed, they would have to put their weapon on their left side to grab it quickly and kill. BUT I love how God made Ehud left-handed so he could get by the guards and they didn't even think to look at the right side of his clothes. So Ehud goes to see King Eglon and says, "I have a secret message for you, O King." so the king sends all his attendants away (dumb). "I have a message from God for you," Ehud says and the king rises from his seat. Ehud grabs his sword and plunges it in the king's belly. Ewww! Then Ehud goes out the doors and locks them behind him. He escaped to the Israelites and leads them into battle with Eglon's people saying the Lord will deliver them all into their hands. This is in Judges 3:12-30. Left-handed people RULE!
* Deborah. Ok, this chick was AWESOME! The only female judge and she was also a prophetess. Married to a guy named Lappidoth. Deborah's name when translated means "bee". You'll see why this is cool later. So again the Israelites turned away from God, so again ruthless tribes came in and overtook them, again they cried out to God, and again he rose up a leader and judge. Deborah. The commander of the ruthless army against the Israelites was named Sisera. The bible says he "cruelly oppressed the Israelites for 20 years".
So Deborah calls the captain of the Israelite army to her. His name is Barak. Deborah tells Barak that God has commanded him to take 10,000 men and go fight Sisera's army. And God will deliver the evil army into their hands. But Barak says to Deborah, "If you go with me, I will go. But if you don't go with me, I won't go." This made me think. The bible doesn't explain why he said this. Why was he scared to go into battle without Deborah there? Did he not trust that God would really come through? I have no idea.
So Deb replies, "Very well, I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honor will not be yours, for the Lord will hand Sisera over to a woman." Oooo, the plot thickens...
So they go into battle and the Israelites are winning. The ruthless captain on the other side, Sisera, freaks out because all of his men are dying so he abandons his chariot and starts to flee the battle on foot. He ends up at the tent of a woman named Jael. (Jael means "mountain goat". Yeah, I know...real feminine, right? But just like Deborah, you'll see why this is cool later) Jael says, "Come, my lord, come right in. Don't be afraid." Sisera probably thought it was a perfect hiding place. No one would look for him in a strange woman's tent (only the woman's husband or father could enter her tent, so people pursuing him would see Jael and not think he would be inside).
So he goes in, Jael puts a covering over him. He says he's thirsty and asks for some water. She opens a skin of milk (most likely goat's milk) and gives him a drink. Right before Sisera falls into a troubled sleep, he asks Jael to stand at the doorway of the tent and if anyone asks, say that no one is inside. The bible says that "Jael picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died." Whoa! Yo go, girl! With Sisera dead, the Israelites could live in peace again. The land flowing with "milk and honey" was saved by the courage and faithfulness of "bee" and "mountain goat". And indeed the honor went to a woman, just like Deborah had said. Good times. (This is in Judges 4)
* Samson - if you grew up going to Sunday School, you probably remember felt-board cut-outs of this huge guy with long hair. Samson, the man with incredible strength and whose hair had never been touched by a razor (Judges 14-15). If I could give Samson a Spice name, he would be "Lusty Spice". My word, he sure loved the ladies. He saw a young Philistine woman one day and told his mom and dad, "I have seen a Philistine woman; now get her for me as my wife." No beating around the bush for this guy. His parents don't want to, because she was not an Israelite and the Lord had warned them about marrying people from other tribes (because they usually got sucked into the idol-worship of the other tribes). But Samson was dead-set on it. "Get her for me. She's the right one for me."
They marry, there are issues, Samson leaves and people think he's left his wife, she gets given to a friend from the wedding instead, Samson comes back later, finds out his wife has been given to another man, grabs 300 foxes and ties them in pairs by their tails, fastens a torch to every pair of tails and lights them, and then lets the foxes loose in the standing grain of the Philistines. All their grain is destroyed plus all their olive trees and vineyards. (no bread, olive oil, or wine for them!) What the heck?!?! I never learned all this in Sunday School!
So of course the Philistines are P.O.ed at Samson and want revenge. They go and kill his wife and her father, which then makes Samson P.O.ed. He starts attacking them. They grab him and he gets tied up to be brought to the Philistines, but the spirit of the Lord comes over him, he breaks out of his bindings and kills 1,000 men with a donkey jawbone. Craziness!
Then Samson meets Delilah (after a brief stint with a prostitute - classy, Samson!) The Philistines bribe Delilah to give them the answer of Samson's great strength so they can overcome him. She keeps pestering him, "Tell me the secret of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued?" Ummmm.....if I was Samson, I think I'd be a little suspicious, wouldn't you!?! He gives her three lame answers ("tie me up with fresh thongs, tie me up with new ropes, weave the 7 braids of my head into the fabric on the weaving loom" etc.) and each time they try to do that, he broke out every time. Finally Delilah's nagging and prodding makes him tell her the real secret: "No razor has ever been used on my head. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man."
Well that did it, my friends. They shaved his head, his strength left him, he was seized, they gouged out his eyes, and dragged him to prison and made him grind grain (which was a woman's job...they wanted to humiliate him). One day the Philistines were having a grand ol' party and they said, "Bring out Samson to entertain us!" Samson, being blind, asked someone to help him over to the pillars that held up the temple where they were partying. He prayed to God, "O Sovereign Lord, remember me. O God, please strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes." The he screams, "Let me die with the Philistines!" and pushes with all his might. The temple fell down and killed everyone in it (about 3,000+ peeps)
There's many more judges and they each have their own story. But these were the 3 that I felt like writing about. And it got me thinking...what do I get from these stories? What did I learn by reading these? They're in the bible for a reason. I've been thinking and journaling about it, but I think what I mostly take away is that God never gives up on us. Time and time again in Judges, you will read about how Israel turns their backs on Him and starts worshiping other gods and doing horrible things, even though God had just rescued them from Egypt and brought them out of slavery. And then other tribes would come in and take over the land and the people, and then they'd cry out to God for help. And God saved them every time. He had a leader/judge to help them every time. And then right after they were saved, the Israelites would go right back to turning their backs on God again and serving/worshiping other idols. It made me think of...well, me. How many times have I cried out for help, God helps me, and then I turn my back on Him again. Until the next time I need help. Oh man, God, you never give up on us. It's a quiet, sobering, humbling thought.
So hey if you've made it this far, you rock! Thanks for reading my long ramblings. I don't do this very often, but when I do, it's pretty fun for me to talk about. That's all for now, friends. Have a great weekend.
Both Chonda and Bone were really funny. Chonda talked about some things I can't relate to (menopause, anyone?) but she also spoke on a lot of stuff that women of any age would love (she gave a shout-out to all the men who got dragged to the event by their wives...they were such good sports!) 
And then Bone got up and his energy and humor was rockin'!!! And through the whole night, I was appreciative of the fact that they were so funny and yet so clean. It was good to be reminded that you don't have to be dirty or crass to be funny (although I do admit I love a few comedians who aren't always so clean).
