GLEE-cap #14

Things I never want to see again: Brittany stripping, Mr. Schuester in a cowboy hat riding a mechanical bull, Rachel's party dress (if we can really call it that), and purple puke.

Not a fan of this episode. I keep hearing my dad's voice in the back of my head. "That show has horrible values!" Dad, lighten up! It's just a fun show. It's got great song/dance numbers and funny one-liners. And I love the characters.

But I can try and justify it all I want. It will not change the fact that Glee really does have horrible values. And this episode is a perfect example of that. So many cringe-worthy lines and sub-plots. I'll save those for the end of the blog. For now, it's time for the

TOP TEN QUOTES/MOMENTS FROM "BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL"

10) "There are new alcoholic beverages targeted to kids, Will. Just listen to the radio. Pop music now glorifies binge drinking. Just listen to any hit by pop sensation 'Ke-dollar-sign-ha'." -Principal Figgins

"...You mean Ke$ha?" -Mr. Schuester

9) Sue to Will: "I suggest you pre-emptively check into rehab, as you are a future alcoholic. I mean, come on, look where you are. You're coaching a glee club that can only beat choirs of old people. You're re-hashing the details of your failed marriage with the very lemur who rejected the bestial horror of your craven sexual advances. And when MY glee club crushes you at regionals, well, the last ounce of meaning will drain from your life and you will turn to drink." (I love Will mimicking Sue while she was talking)

8) "Did you hear?" -Brittany (about Rachel's party)

"Yes. Mercedes just told me." -Artie

"Tell them I'll go if they go." -Mercedes

"Tell 'em yourself. I ain't no pony express." -thug Artie

7) "It tastes like pink. It tastes like PINK!" -Rachel drinking a wine cooler at her party

6) "Don't You Want Me Baby" by Rachel and Blaine. Darren Criss singing an 80's tune? Yes please. It was fun seeing Rachel and Blaine sing. I never really thought they'd sing together because they go to different schools. (Btw, WHAT was Rachel wearing?? I think my grandmother owned that exact dress. And wore it in the evenings because it was her NIGHTGOWN.)

5) All the glee kids at school on Monday with hangovers and sunglasses.

"How 'bout some Bloody Marys, y'all." -Artie

"Are you kidding me? That last thing I want to do is drink." -Mercedes

"It'll help your hangover. That's what bloody marys are for. Hair of the dog that done bit...yo...ass." -thug Artie again. And then he proceeds to bang his wheelchair into walls and say "EH" to Cheerios as they walk by. Blame it on the alcohol, Artie.

4) "Yeahhhh happy face," -Mr. Schue drunk-grading, giving everyone A+'s. "That was a valiant effort." *burp* "You get an A+. That's how I roll." (slurring his words) "I don't even know who you ARE."

3) "Unfortunately Kitty Dukakis could not be here because of disinterest." -Principal Figgins at the school assembly.

2) Oh my gosh, my favorite scene was when Sue played Will's drunk-dial on the intercom. I could not stop laughing.

"Heyyyyy there, sexy lady. There's something I really really want to say to you. I love how you eat your lunch with your little plastic gloves and they crinkle and make the cutest sound I've ever heard in my life. Why don't you pick up some wine coolers and come over here and it'll be just one night of us just getting crazy, just get CRAZY. *mumble mumble* Roll around in the hay...I was just in some hay earlier tonight. Hey and I rode a bull and I was thinking of YOU."

Becky's face. Emma's face. Will's face. All the glee kids' faces. Classic. (Oh and I loved the shout-out to Grease with the xylophone opener and closer)

1) "There's a fair amount of the pot calling the kettle black right now." -Quinn

"That is so racist." -Brittany


Didn't Like:

* Rachel's party. Maybe I'm just super sensitive to stuff like this right now because some of my college students are into this scene and it really bums me out. I didn't like seeing the kids going crazy and being dumb.

* Mr. Schuester being all, "Who am I to tell them not to drink. I drank and blacked out when I was their age." Ummm, you can tell them not to drink because you're an adult and a teacher and a mentor and their glee leader. Oh and why don't you be a good example during Alcohol Awareness Week and go get drunk with the Beiste at a honky tonk bar? Awesome, Schue.

* The glee kids getting congratulations and fro-yo coupons after the assembly. Where's the discipline?! Are there no consequences for their actions?

* Blaine checking out if he likes girls. Glee writers, what is going on!?!

Some people said they LOVED this episode. One of their favorites this season. Am I just way off? What did you think?