GLEE-cap #13

Dang you, Sam Evans. You and your pretty voice and your pretty face. I will overlook the fact that you can't dance (sorry!) and just acknowledge that I really liked you in tonight's episode. You even made me like a Justin Bieber song. Now I don't know much about the Biebs. Probably because I am over the age of 12. Here's what I do know:

* His video for the song "Baby" has almost 500,000,000 views on youtube. Not 500 thousand. 500 MILLION. That video has the most views of ANY video on youtube. What. The. Crap.

* His movie "Never Say Never" just made 30 million at the box office this weekend.

* His hair looks like a comb-over, but from the back. A backwards comb-over? A forwards comb-over? Whatever. His hair is silly-looking.

* His followers/fans call themselves "Beliebers". And they will cut you. Seriously, don't mess with the Beliebers. They have made death threats against Selena Gomez (a young Disney teen star) because she and the Biebs are supposedly dating. The Beliebers are scary. Like PETA, but with ponytails and braces.

Ok, so back to Sam Evans. Sweet sweet gullible Sam. You believed Quinn saved Finn's life when he choked on a gumball? Presh. And you thought channeling J Beeb would win back her affections? Double presh.

I feel like I'm getting ahead of this week's Top 10, so let's jump in.


TOP TEN QUOTES/MOMENTS FROM "COMEBACK"

10) "Hey Will, Esme. So sorry for not being sorry for interrupting. But would you mind if I borrowed one of your rafters so I can hang myself? I did a test run back in my office and you know what? There's asbestos up there. And that can kill a person." -Sue

9) "You're lucky I left my blow gun at home, Air Bags, because I've got a clear shot at your nonnies." -Sue to Santana in glee club

8) I loved when the boys walked slow-mo into the choir room dressed as Justin Bieber. "Sweet Jesus, who bought tickets to Crazy Town?" -Mercedes. Everyone's expressions were awesome. Tina's and Lauren's were my fav. And Puck flicking his bangs to the side with the twist of his head...just perfect.

"Hey everyone. We're the new and improved 'The Justin Bieber Experience'. And we think this song is an anthem because everything Bieber does is epic." -Sam

"Truth!" -Artie (gangsta)

7) The song/performance to "Somebody To Love". When I first saw that GLEE was going to sing this song, I was like, "Wait, they already sang this." (the Queen song) But no, this time it was the Biebs. And I liked it. Good ol' sugary pop music. The ladies were going c-r-a-z-y during the performance which was funny.

6) "Listen, Zizes. I'm dying here. You got me every which way, and we both know I'm not the brightest. So, please! What do I have to do to getwitcho?" -Puck to Lauren

5) "Do dudes ever get erections when they wrestle with you?" -Puck to Lauren (Inappropriate quote but way too funny not to mention. Sorry.)

4) "Take Me Or Leave Me" by Mercedes and Rachel. True to form, these divas BROUGHT IT. I loved this song already, and I thought they did a great cover of it. Rachel must love Idina Menzel because in her first Diva-Off with Kurt, they sang "Defying Gravity" from Wicked and in this Diva-Off, their song was an Idina song from RENT. Oh wait, of COURSE Rachel loves Idina - Idina is her mom (on the show)! Pardon me, I just nerded out. Moving on...

3) The underwear scene. Lauren was trying to imagine the glee kids in their underwear while she sang and I was dying! First of all, Mr. Schue was wearing boxers and a vest. A VEST. I was giddy. Next was Sue in a black leather dominatrix outfit, mask, and sneakers. Then I see Finn in boxers and a Power Rangers T-shirt. And finally Puck wearing rock n' roll briefs. xoxo

2) Sam's James Earl Jones impression had me in stitches!! "This morning I woke up and decided to swallow the sun!" Ahhhhh! Loved it, loved it, loved it.

"First of all, that is offensive. He shot Martin Luther King." -Santana

"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father!" -Sam, still doing the impression

1) Original songs for Regionals?! Yes please!


Final thoughts from the episode:

* It has been confirmed: Rachel shops at Kids R Us.

* Why did Finn look like a lumberjack during the "Sing" song?

* I miss Kurt, Blaine, and the Warblers.

* I miss John Stamos.

* I'm glad Sam broke it off with Quinn. Not so stoked he's with Santana, but whatevs. And I couldn't stand "cocky Finn" last week. So I'm glad he got knocked down a few pegs this week.

Now it's your turn, gleeks. What did you think of this week's episode?