Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The Walk

<< Ok friends, this might be kind of random, but I have been struggling with envy lately. I hate it. Tonight, I wrote a short story. I'm not a writer or anything, but I just sort of went for it. It might not make sense, but that's ok. I'm just not sure what else to do. >>

The Walk

I was walking down the street with my good friend, Peace. We took our time, savoring the sweet sunlight as it hit our faces. Small steps, no rush. Enjoying the breeze, the conversation, the laughter.

Suddenly, I noticed someone turn the corner and start heading our way. As they drew closer, I recognized the face with dread. My thoughts started racing. "Please. Not this time. Please...not again."

Peace, unaware of the oncoming person, kept looking at me and telling her story. But I could not listen. I knew what was about to happen.

We stopped. Peace finally realized someone else was in front of us and turned to them. I saw her face cloud over and her smile slowly fade.

"Hello, Envy. How are you?" she asked politely.

"I'm doing well, Peace. Thank you for asking," Envy replied, but he was not looking at her as he spoke. His eyes were locked on me. "How are you doing, Sarah?"

I looked down.


"Well, that's good to hear," he said with a strange smile. "Where are you two ladies off to?"

Peace glanced quickly at me and then back at Envy. "Nowhere in particular. We just felt like going for a walk today. It's so nice outside."

"Hmmm," Envy said. "I agree. We couldn't ask for better weather."

Even though I was looking down, I knew he had not taken his gaze off me. I knew what was coming.

"Sarah, why don't you walk with me awhile. We could go down to the beach."

"No, that's ok. I'm kind of tired." My voice came out low and quiet.

"Oh come on. It's been awhile since we've seen each other. I'd love to catch up." Envy again smiled strangely.

I lifted my head and looked pleadingly at Peace. She immediately knew my internal struggle.

"Well, we're actually heading home, so maybe another time," she replied on my behalf. She turned around and started to head in the direction we had just come. With a silent sigh of relief, I also turned to go.

But Envy grabbed my hand.

"Wait, Sarah. Don't go yet."

I froze. I saw Peace's retreating back as she walked further and further away. "Follow her. Follow her!" I screamed in my head. But I could not. I turned back and finally looked Envy in the eyes.

He was beautiful.

I knew I shouldn't. I knew he was all wrong for me. I knew how horrible I felt after I spent time with him. I tried to avoid him as best I could. And yet, somehow he always seemed to know where to find me.

I stood there, unable to take my eyes away from his face.

Maybe just a little walk. I really do love the beach. He knows that.

"Ok. A short walk."

He smiled again. Still holding my hand, he crossed the street and led me down a new block. He looked down at me as we walked away.

"I've missed you."

I could not say the same.


Haley said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story Sarah. Thank you for your honesty. Your story totally makes sense and is a very accurate picture of sin's hold on us, the enemy's hold on us.

Love you SO much.

New Branch said...

what's up john bunyan! have you ever read pilgrims progress? you should...actually, you're writing it yourself right now :) love you sis see you in 1 day

Jody said...

I love this, Sarah, all of it. I love that you wrote it, shared it, everything. It really drew me in and revealed so much in such a short narrative. Your characterizations are SO strong and shows that your know both Peace and Envy very intimately. I will pray that Peace comes back to rescue you!

Smarshie said...

Thank you ladies for your kind comments. I figured if I shared it with others, it would release some of the grip it has on me. (Because as we all know, Satan loooves to have us keep these things to ourselves in the dark)

Amanda said...

I think it's really awesome that you shared this. I'm sure it was a little hard at first. We never want to admit we're struggling with something like this. But the way you described it is so good! I'm actually going to let my 12 year old read it. Right now she's dealing with having friends that are allowed to go to a boys house without parents, friends that are allowed to stay out late, and little stuff like that. It's just another form of being envious of what they have or can do. Sorry to write so much, I meant to just let you know how awesome it was.