Thursday, January 26, 2006

I'm my own worst critic

I was kind of in a funk all day yesterday. Especially when I went to work around 3. I was feeling all weirded out and attacked spiritually. I was calling people asking for prayer. Then, around 5 I was thinking, "Oh my gosh, Sarah. Think about what you are talking about tonight!"

Evangelism.

Of COURSE Satan doesn't want me to share about that. After that, my boss and I prayed, I prayed with the student leaders (we meet before the college group), I prayed alone.

Looking back on the talk...I dunno. I think it went all right? I honestly think I am my own worst critic. I was hoping that what I was saying made sense. Was it resonating in the students' hearts? Was I going too fast? Was I not going fast enough? We had some new people there last night...did they feel uncomfortable? I didn't feel as prepared as I had my first time. Did that come through in the talk?

I was looking around about 15 minutes into it, and some students had that "glazed-over" look on their faces. Ack!! Am I boring?!?! But then I realized I have the same look on my face when I hear other people speak. It doesn't mean I'm not listening or I'm bored. I just sort of get in the zone as I'm listening and I'm sure I get that expression on my face, too.

Oh well. However funky I felt beforehand and however bad I scruntinized myself afterwards...hopefully the Lord will use it.

** A praise! I went to the doctor yesterday and got some antibiotics, cough syrup pills, and an inhaler. I was coughing like crazy all day and even up until the student leader meeting. We prayed that the coughing would subside until after my talk and IT DID! I didn't cough AT ALL during my talk, but as soon as I finished and Charlie (my boss) started playing a worship song, I had to run to the bathroom and I proceeded to have a 10 minute cough attack. How amazing is that!? The timing couldn't have been better. In between my crazy coughing, I was like, "Thank you, God! Thank you, God!" If that attack had come up during my talk, I wouldn't have been able to continue. I love stuff like that.

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