marriage and kids
All my friends are married. And most of my friends are married with kids. And I feel like every conversation I've had with them lately has left me feeling very depressed.
"Sarah, marriage is hard work. It is so hard."
"Sarah, having kids is so hard. I don't sleep. It is SO hard."
I can't take it anymore.
It's all I am hearing lately.
Someone, please tell me. Please tell me the good outweighs the bad. All I hear is the bad. I need to hear some good. Please.
4 comments:
The good outweighs the bad. By God's grace, I have 10 years of experience in marriage and a lot of years of single life before that to back it up.
I'm in the middle of formulating a longer response to communicate that in more detail, but I can assure you that just as single life has good and bad, married life has good and bad.
Yes it's hard. Being married is hard. Having kids is hard.
But most of the time both are easy and wonderful. I love being a wife and I love being a mom.
The hard times come is spurts--moments and seasons. When I'm in the midst of a difficult time, I remember that this too shall pass. And I try to remember James 1 and choose joy. Without the hard times, I wouldn't be as appreciative of the good times. Don't fall for negativity!
in the past 24 hours i have had the following 'goods':
1. 'mommy i prayed for you today are you feeling better' - my 3 yr old.
2. samuel smiled at me and patted my face then burried his head into me for snuggle time.
3. my husband and i traded back rubs after a long day
4. husband made us all a delicious dinner to eat together as a family and share about our days (you know how much i love this).
5. judah had sam laughing by saying jibberish words to his face
6. 'i love you so much mommy'
there is always so much good. but i think it's a shock to all of us to experience how much hard comes from the sacrifice it takes to be a good wife, mother and friend. and maybe we share too much of the hard because it's how we learn to deal with the challenges and have better perspective. but sarah, i promise you, being married and having kids are worth it! they are wonderful and i pray you get to have them too.
Thank you so much for your responses, ladies. I truly appreciate them so much.
I know I can't begin to know how hard marriage and parenthood is.
I guess my sadness was coming from the fact that ALL I was hearing was negative.
I would like to be married and a mom one day, Lord willing. And hearing all this was making me discouraged. I was thinking, "If it's all hard, all the time, is it worth it?"
Which I know is not true, but that's just how I was feeling.
I want my married (and mommy) friends to be totally honest with me about how they're doing. And if they're having a hard day (or week or month), I want to know. I guess it just felt like it was so much at once and it overwhelmed (and saddened) me a bit.
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