Sunday, November 29, 2009


Today I found out that another one of my college girls got engaged over the weekend. This is the fourth girl to get engaged in 6 months and ALL OF THEM ARE 18!! These aren't the 22 and 23 year olds. These are the young'ens. Everytime I hear of a new one, my first reaction is shock. I mean, am I the only one that thinks 18 is super young to get married?

Don't you want to live on your own for awhile before you get hitched? Don't you want to experience life away from your parents and where you grew up? (they are all going from living at home with their parents to living with their husband) Don't you want to go to (or finish) college? Don't you want to travel and have life experiences? Don't you want to figure out who you ARE? Heck, I changed so much from 18 to 25, it's ridiculous.

When you hear about an 18 year old getting engaged, how do you react? Has anyone you've known gotten married that young?


Julie Patterson said...

In our current culture, I think most 18 year old's are probably not ready to get married. However, my mom got married at 18 and she is still happily married. She says in the 70's most girls didn't think about going to college and getting a career started before getting married, so it didn't seem like she was giving anything up. Later though she did go to college and now she has a great job. Back then I think there were different expectations on young adults than now. You're supposed to get yourself together, find a dream job, and do all the things you really want to do before you have to share decision-making with another (especially before you have kids!). Not that that is bad. Hopefully now more people are establishing a bit of who they are and what they value before trying to start a lifelong commitment. There are those though who get married young and really make it. They sort of grow up together. Best wishes to all the "young'ens".
Sarah, I'm sure your positive influence on these girls will help them (no matter what their age) make a thoughtful decision about their future. You have such a big heart full of love. I bet you're a great leader!

susannah said...

i am glad that i didn't get married at 18! oh goodness. my cousin got married at 19 last year and it was so surreal to me to realize that here i was 14 years older than he was, and i was just having my first baby. meanwhile he and his wife will have one probably in the next year or two... i LOVED the season post college/pre marriage. i got married at 27, and can't imagine not having those years for maturing, changing, etc. of course for people who get married young they can do all of that maturing/growing together...but sadly, the reality is that divorce rates are much higher for people who get married at 18 vs 25 or 30 or 35. i personally also wonder how much of it (subconciously) is that in christian circles, they get married early bc they want to have sex...not really the best reason...

Jody said...

No freaking comment.

Smarshie said...

Hi Julie! I'm so glad you found my blog. I loved reading your comment. I think you're right about our grandparents' and parents' generations getting married much younger. Now there are different expecations on young people. I liked the part you shared about them "growing up together". I can definitely see that happening with these college girls and their soon-to-be-husbands.

Sooz - I also feel like the post-college years have been such a blessing. I wouldn't trade them for anything. But not everyone needs (or wants) that time. I am realizing as I re-read my post that I sound judgmental and I REALLY don't want to be that way. I think I was just in so much shock that there have been so many young engagements recently. But it has worn off now. And even though I was shocked, I love these ladies so much and I want to encourage and support them during this time.

Jodes - But I LIKE your freaking comments. I know you were young when you got married, so I'm sure you can vouch for the waiting-awhile-before-getting-married-stance.