"Stop! Hummer time..."

** The title of this blog is a shout-out to one of my heroes from 1990: the man in the parachute pants, MC Hammer.

I have long been an enemy of the Hummer. It all started back in 2000 when a good friend told me about this website called fUh2.com. While I don't agree with the language, the website encouraged people all over the U.S. to flip off any Hummer they see. Why? Because we're against those gas-guzzling, environment-polluting death machines! Who's with me?!?!

So I'm at church and one of my co-workers tells us her car is getting fixed and she has a rental. And she wants to take us all out on a joyride. I figured with the nice sunny weather we've been having it might be some sort of convertible. Sweet! I'm in! And then she dropped the bomb on us.

It was an H3.

Judy, you have GOT to be kidding me. But no, she was for reals. Apparently she asked for a different vehicle, but it was all the rental company had. So that's what she was driving around town. I asked how many people had flipped her off yet and she said, "None yet. But I'm just waiting for it..."

6 of us (high school and college staff) walked out to the parking lot, and there it was in all its black, massive glory.



I got in the passenger seat, feeling super apprehensive. After 9 years of making fun of Hummers, I was actually going to ride in one. Observations. First off, they are waaaaaay smaller on the inside than they look on the outside. I imagined them to be spacious since they were such tanks. Nope, just like any other car. Second, I can see how people who drive Hummers must get drunk off their power. I mean, you are HIGH UP. You could run anyone off the road and not feel a thing. It was like Monster Trucks for the common folk.

Lastly, I have to admit, it was fun. Windows were down, sunroofs were opened, the satellite radio was blasting, talk and laughter abounded. Despite feeling like a hypocrite, I loved the Hummer joyride. We definitely got lots of looks, but thankfully no middle fingers.

I will NEVER buy a Hummer. And I still think they're ridiculous. But maybe after this experience I'll stop making fun of them.

Nahhhh.