What Not To Wear

My roomates have started something: What Not To Wear (Gordon House Edition!)

If any of you have watched the show on TLC, Clinton and Stacy go to hopeless fashion victims and pledge to educate them on "What Not To Wear". They go through the person's wardrobe and make snarky comments while the victim watches helplessly off to the side. For example: Clinton says, "Oh no you DI-DN'T buy this wrap! This looks like a picnic blanket!" He and Stacy will then pretend to sit on it and have a picnic. Quickly after, they'll stand up and toss it into the big garbage can while the woman tears up a little bit because her husband gave that to her on their 20th wedding anniversary or whatever. Pure drama.

Anyway, in the name of "spring cleaning" and "fun", my roomates started our own version of "What Not To Wear". One of us brings ALL our clothes into the living room. The rest who are the Stacys and Clintons get ready: pj's, food, drinks, exercise balls, magazines...whatever we're going to do between changes. And then it begins...

The other night it was roomate # 3's turn. During the night as she tried things on, here were some comments I made/heard (in between lots of laughter):

"It makes you look too box-y."
"You are only allowed 10 cotton T-shirts."
"That makes you look like 'Fonz' from Happy Days"
"What IS that?! Outdoorsy pants? Oh ok, you can keep that."
"I don't like the bottom. I like from the waist up, but not the bottom."
"Do you have any other colored shirts besides maroon, brown, or turquoise?"
"Yes, you can have two pairs of pj bottoms."
"You don't need more than 2 long sleeved white shirts."
"Next time you go shopping, buy tops with patterns on them."
"Oh, yeah. Those are definitely 'work' pants. Keep 'em."
"What?! Are you a lumberjack?! Toss it!"

I am looking back at these comments in wonder. Who ARE we?! Wow, we can be pretty harsh in the name of fashion. The 2 previous roomates who already had their turn seemed to be extra vocal with their comments...they already had to endure comments about their clothes and were ready to dish it out to others.

Ok, so here's my confession. I am scared for my turn. I really want to do it, because I need to clean out my closet and I am interested in what my roomates' opinions are on my clothes. But secretly I am terrified. Everyone has those articles of clothing that have sentimental value and we want to keep them forever even though they are completely ridiculous or out of style. I can just picture myself trying on a shirt and being like (whining voice) "Come on, guys! I know I never wear it! But what if one day I wake up and think, 'I really want to wear my Rainbow Brite shirt!' "

Yikes. I have a feeling I am going to be donating a lot of clothes to Goodwill. And my pitiful excuses will not hold up to the roomates' scrutiny. And I am also going to probably feel like a complete and total fashion victim. Maybe I should give Stacy and Clinton a call.